Grab bag: The man behind the Sabres' ridiculous anti-drug anthem

The Grab Bag returns, and makes its debut on ESPN.com. In this week’s edition:
- A rant about low scoring, bigger nets and appeals to tradition
- An obscure player who can end the dogs vs. cats war once and for all
- Wait, how was Don Cherry not on the Canadian Walk of Fame already?
- The week’s three comedy stars, which you all somehow talked me into keeping
- And a YouTube breakdown of that ridiculous Sabres anti-drug song, featuring an exclusive interview with the guy who wrote it.

>> Read the full post on ESPN.com

Opening night quick hits

Some disjointed thoughts on The Greatest Upset in the History of Hockey...

• What's the over-under on "plan the parade" jokes tomorrow? I'm going to say 8.5.
  
  
• Tonight was a nice reminder that nothing should be taken for granted in sports. The Leafs were brought in for the Wings home opener to basically play the role of Iron Mike Sharpe, and instead they stole a win.
  
  What does it mean? Not much, to be honest.
  
  We've had weeks of predictions and analysis and projections, and virtually none of it will even come close to being accurate. I'm not going to go math geek on everyone, but plain old random chance plays far more of a role in pro sports outcomes than anyone us want to admit. You just never know.
  
  Can the Leafs shock everyone and make the playoffs? Sure they can. Do I think they'll be terrible? Absolutely. And there's nothing contradictory about those two sentences. The old cliche is true: anything can happen.
  
  None of that means the Leafs won't be a bad team. But it does mean that anybody who tries to tell you that any result in pro sports is impossible -- including this Leafs turning out to be pretty good -- just flat out doesn't know what they're talking about.
  
  
• On Pavel Kubina's goal, it was nice to see Chris Osgood do the same thing I do six times a game in NHL 09.
  
  
• Is there anybody left who likes the puck-over-the-glass rule? Anybody? And is the NHL the only pro league in the world that have rules that everybody agreed was moronic and not bother to change them? Don't answer that. Of course it is.
  
  Hey, let's combine stupid rules and make all games with a puck-over-glass penalty in them worth three points! Somebody call Gary Bettman!
  
  
• Damien Cox was blogging between periods. It was really good. I hope he keeps that up.
  
  ...
  
  No, seriously. It was good. No punchline. I hope Cox finds some ways to turn "The Spin", his quasi-daily web-based column, into an actual blog this year. This is a good first step.
  
  At this rate, maybe he'll even be using those "hyperlink" things by December.
  
  
• I haven't decided yet how many goals Dominic Moore needs to score before I decide to drop my irrational dislike for him. I'll let you know, though. I'm thinking 30.
  
  
• Was anyone else watching the final minute, as the Red Wings stormed the Leafs net and desperately jammed away in search of a game-tying goal, and yelling at the TV screen "DAMMIT, WHY ISN'T SCHENN ON THE ICE?"
  
  No? Just me? OK, carry on.