The Athletic Hockey Show: Which teams are banking on tanking? A ranking

On this week's episode of The Athletic Hockey Show:
- We discuss the first edition of the tank index
- Why an Erik Karlsson return in Ottawa would be unprecedented
- The GM meetings discuss a rule change I somehow don't hate
- Jesse Granger on Vezina props, including one star with surprisingly long odds
- A listener had a problem with the Borje Salming ceremony
- Plus this week in history and more...

The Athletic Hockey Show runs most days of the week during the season, with Ian and I hosting every Thursday. There are two versions of each episode available:
- An ad-free version for subscribers that you can find here
- An ad-supported version you can get for free wherever you normally find your podcasts (like Apple or Spotify)

Puck Soup: Fire up the tank

On this week's episode of the Puck Soup podcast:
- Thoughts on HHOF weekend
- Is Rod Brind'Amour a Hall-of-Famer?
- Who's selling, and who should be tanking
- More Canucks sadness
- What's up in Pittsburgh and Washington?
- A 400-goal scorer quiz, and more...

>> Listen on The Athletic >> Subscribe on iTunes.

>> Listen on Spotify

>> Get weekly mailbags and special bonus episodes by supporting Puck Soup on Patreon for $5.

Weekend rankings: 5 big-name busts, the Islanders are back, and a new bottom team

 We’re five weeks into the season. How’s your team’s big summer acquisition doing?

No, it’s OK, you can pass judgment now. It’s still too early, so you could absolutely be wrong, but you won’t seem ridiculous for it like you would have after three games. You’re fine. Sit on your couch with a bowl of chips on your lap and scream “not good enough!” at your TV, it’s what fans are supposed to do.

The 2022 offseason was a fun one, with an unusually long list of big names switching teams. Some of those have worked out, with guys like Matthew Tkachuk, Johnny Gaudreau, Kevin Fiala, Kirby Dach, Ville Husso and others all at least living up to expectations. But other teams are still waiting for their return on investment to kick in. Let's make that today's bonus five.

Top five big offseason acquisitions that have been kind of a bust so far

5. Oliver Bjorkstrand, Seattle – The Kraken have been a nice early season story, and any negativity has mostly focused on the weird Shane Wright drama. Still, it’s worth noting that Bjorkstrand hasn’t really done much yet. That trade felt like a nice piece of work by Ron Francis, taking advantage of another team’s cap crunch to get a good player cheap. There’s lots of time for it to work out that way, but one goal so far from a guy who pushed 30 last year is a letdown.

4. John Klingberg, Anaheim – Nobody looks good on the Ducks right now, and it’s not like they had to give up anything to get Klingberg. But it’s fair to say he’s been just OK so far, with no goals and just four primary assists while posting lousy possession numbers. All of that has at least something to do with the lack of talent around him, but if you’re a Ducks fan and hoping that Klingberg would turn into the must-have rental target of the trade deadline, you haven’t seen much yet.

>> Read the full post at The Athletic

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Grab bag: With the first pick in the alumni draft...

In the Friday Grab Bag:
- NBC seemed to snub the NHL this week, but maybe we're all missing something
- An idea for making outdoor alumni games a lot more fun
- An obscure player who had more success in reality TV than on the ice
- The week's three comedy stars, including an adorable wittle Blackhawks fan
- And we break down one of the most famous moments in WJC history, as John Slaney scores the biggest goal of his life

>> Read the full post at Vice Sports

Grab Bag: Missing insiders, defensieve defensemen, and disappearing NTCs

In the Friday Grab Bag:
- All the hockey insiders are on vacation now and that's not OK
- PK Subban kind of got screwed on his NTC
- An obscure player who is also a movie star
- Introducing the defensieve defenseman, who will save us all from another old-school-vs-analytics fight
- And the Leafs and Habs got head-to-head to determine hockey's best defenseman in an old school NHL Showdown

>> Read the full post at Vice Sports

The NHL's Kobes: Ten legends who held on too long

The big sports story of the weekend: Los Angeles Lakers star Kobe Bryant announced that this will be his final season. He made the announcement Sunday, then went out and had the chance to tie the game on a dramatic, last-second shot. It did not go well.

That has led to plenty of talk about how Bryant has held on too long. You never want to say a player should have retired before he or she was ready -- after all, their job is to play. And if someone is still willing to pay them to do it, they're under no obligation to go out on our terms. But it's probably fair to see that some players' final years end up being, um, slightly below peak productivity. Yes, let's go with that.

That's true for the NHL, too, of course. Sometimes, a legendary player ends his career with an exclamation point. And sometimes, the end comes as more of an ellipsis, trailing off into an awkward silence, followed by a shrug and a "never mind."

So, in an effort to make Kobe feel better about how things are ending, here are 10 examples of NHL legends whose final seasons didn't quite meet the high standards they'd established over the rest of their careers.

Brett Hull

It's fun to remember him as: Perhaps the greatest pure goal scorer the league has ever seen.

So let's forget the part where: ... he tried to hang on for one more post-lockout year with the Arizona Coyotes.

In his prime, Hull was the answer to the question "What would happen if a guy with the goal-scoring skills and instincts of Alexander Ovechkin played in an era where you could actually score goals?" That answer involved three straight seasons with 70-plus goals and a grand total of 741 career goals.

But none of those goals came with the Coyotes. Hull signed a two-year contract with the team as a free agent in 2004, then saw the first year of the deal wiped out by the lockout. When play resumed in 2005, a 41-year-old Hull didn't exactly look like a great fit for the new, faster NHL, and he lasted just five games before calling it quits.

Hull was all sorts of fun to watch for the better part of two decades. But when your retirement headline includes the words "effective immediately," you've probably held on too long.

Martin Brodeur

It's fun to remember him as: One of the most decorated goaltenders of all time, a three-time champion and the league's ultimate "can't-picture-him-in-any-other-uniform" guy.

So let's forget the part where: ... he tried a seven-game comeback with the St. Louis Blues.

Brodeur spent 21 years with the New Jersey Devils, winning three Cups, earning a trophy case full or hardware and firmly establishing himself as a Devils legend. When he and the franchise parted ways after the 2014 season and he made it through the offseason without signing elsewhere, hockey fans celebrated a terrific career while breathing a sigh of relief that we wouldn't have to see the NHL's "Willie Mays-as-a-Met" moment.

But then came December and a call from the Blues. St. Louis already had Jake Allen, and Brian Elliott was on his way back from a knee injury, but they wanted another experienced goalie because, well, nobody was quite sure, but that's a story for another time.

Brodeur came in, started five games, and played fine. He wasn't good, but he didn't embarrass himself. But when Elliott returned a month later, Brodeur dropped to third on the depth chart and never played again. He retired midseason and took a front-office job in St. Louis.

>> Read the full post on ESPN.com

Dear son, welcome to life as a Leaf fan

The horror...

Last month my wife and I welcomed our first son to the world. Like any proud father, I didn't want to waste any time teaching him the important values that I hope he'll carry with him throughout his life. So a few days ago, I sat him down for a very important discussion.

Hey little guy. Wakey wakey. Daddy wants to share something very important with you.

Do you see this friendly looking blue thing right here? That's a Toronto Maple Leafs logo. It probably looks familiar, since there's at least one on every item of clothing you own right now. And that's because you're going to be a Maple Leafs fan, just like your dad.

I want to tell you all about the Leafs. I want to teach you about Dave Keon and Borje Salming and Mats Sundin and Teeder Kennedy. So let's look through daddy's old scrapbook together and I'll tell you all about it.

Look, here's a picture of George Armstrong. He was called "Chief". He's scoring the clinching goal into an empty net to beat the Montreal Canadiens. Look how happy everyone looks! Do you see all the people cheering? They're happy because they just saw the Leafs win their most recent Stanley Cup.

What's that? No. No, there's aren't any pictures of this that are in color.

Because they didn't have color photography back in 1967, that's why. Well I'm sorry, that's just the way it is. Look, if you want to see them in color so badly, go ask your sister if you can borrow her crayons.

Hey, come on now little buddy, stop crying.

It's not like Leaf fans haven't had anything to cheer about since then. Let me tell you about 1993. That's the year that the Leafs went on a magical run and almost made the Stanley Cup finals. They had Dougie Gilmour's spinorama and Felix Potvin's brilliance and Wendel Clark punched out Marty McSorley's eyeball. It was probably the greatest stretch of hockey I've ever seen.

Yes, that's right, 1993.

Well of course that seems like a long time ago to you, you're two weeks old. Right, OK, I guess that was 17 years ago, sure. Nice math skills, Archimedes, do you have a point?

I said stop crying!

Look, I never said being a Leaf fan was going to be easy, OK? But I'm not raising you to be some sort of front-running bandwagon jumper who elbows his way to the head of the line when the team is winning and then bails out as soon as times get tough. The world already has too many Senator fans.

No, you're going to stick this out until the bitter end, and here's why: It will be worth it some day.

If you don't believe me, ask a Chicago Blackhawks fan. They hadn't won a Stanley Cup since 1961, but that all changed this season. For a few years they finished in last place just like the Leafs, but now they have a roster full of young stars that they drafted and their team is …

What? No. No, the Leafs can't just go out and do that too. Because they don't have any draft picks, that's why. Because they gave them all to another team, OK? I don't know, because it seemed like a good idea at the time!

No, daddy is not crying. Hey, isn't there an episode of The Backyardigans you should be watching?

Look, kid. I know it seems hopeless. I know it even seems a little bit cruel to raise you as a Leafs fan. I know that whenever you see Daddy thinking about the Leafs he's making angry faces and muttering mean words and drinking from one of his special grownup bottles.

But here's the thing, son: Some day, the Leafs are going to win the Stanley Cup. It won't happen this year, or the next, or even the one after that. But it will happen one day. And when that day arrives, all the near misses and the lost seasons and the jokes and the blown calls and the sleepless nights will just make it all that much sweeter.

When that moment comes, some day a very long time from now, you're going to appreciate it in a way that only a true fan can. Because you'll have earned it.

That's why you're going to be a Leaf fan, son, whether you like it or not. But if those nice folks from Children Services ask, you chose this of your own free will, OK?

Now let's go get you changed. I think somebody made a Toskala in his diaper.

Is this the worst it's ever been? Part one.

John Ferguson. The Mats Sundin saga. Paul Maurice. Bryan McCabe. Jeff Finger. Rask-for-Raycroft.

If you're a die-hard Leafs fan, these have been dark days. It's bad right now. No doubt. But how bad? Have we ever been down to these depths before?

I'm not sure. So this week, I'm going to take a look back over Toronto Maple Leafs history and try to answer the question: Is this the worst it's ever been?

As always on Down Goes Brown, "Leafs History" is defined as beginning when I was old enough to be a fan. That takes us back to the early 80s, and that's where our three-part series begins.


1983-84

This picture is all kinds of awesome.

The good: Rick Vaive scores 50 goals for the third straight year. Bill Derlago chips in 40, which is neat since as a kid I always liked him because I thought his name was "Builder Lego". Tough guy "Razzle" Basil McRae was briefly on the team. Gary Leeman debuts, which ends up being important eight years later.

The bad: The team misses the playoffs for the second time in three years, following a streak of eight straight appearances. The team used five goalies, including teenaged rookies Allan Bester and Ken Wregget, and the departing Mike Palmateer. Harold Ballard is alive.

How bad was it? 80/100. The team is terrible, Ballard is a menace, and fans were starting to lose hope. Rightfully so, as it turned out.


1984-85

The good: Al Iafrate debuts, and immediately begins going bald. A rookie named Steve Thomas arrives, and proceeds to play for the Leafs off and on for the next 30 years. They use the first overall draft pick to choose some farmboy defenceman from Saskatchewan who turns out to be pretty good.

The bad: The team was a laughingstock, managing only 48 points and finishing last overall. They scored 253 goals which would be good today but was awful back then. Harold Ballard is alive.

How bad was it? 90/100. This was in the "fans wear paper bags" days.


1985-86

The good: The Leafs make the playoffs thanks to a pathetic 40-point season by the Red Wings and even manage to win a round by upsetting the Blackhawks. Wendel debuts, leading the squad with a team rookie record 34 goals and killing and eating every tough guy in the Norris. The Leafs draft Vincent Damphousse, who I refer to as "Damp House" for about two years before my dad corrects me.

The bad: The team manages only 57 points. Harold Ballard is alive.

How bad was it? 70/100. The team was still awful, but Wendel-mania has begun.


1986-87

The good: The John Brophy era begins, and the sight of an angry white-haired man in a derby scares the Leafs into earning a playoff spot. This was the second year of the two-year Brad "Motor City Smitty" Smith era. The Leafs manage an upset first round win against a St. Louis Blues team coached by a young Jacques Martin, who vows to only ever be the Leafs playoff fodder like four more times at the absolute most.

The bad: Despite the playoff appearance, the Leafs were still ten games under .500. Nobody on the entire team managed 75 points. Harold Ballard is alive.

How bad was it? 50/100. Make no mistake, the team was still bad. But Brophy was fun and they won a playoff round, and Wendel Clark was punching the blood out of a different guy every night.


1987-88

The good: The Leafs make a blockbuster deal, sending Rick Vaive and others to the Blackhawks to get Ed Olczyk, who scores 42 goals and leads the team in scoring. Despite only managing 52 points, the Leafs make the playoffs for the third year in a row.

The bad: The string of first-round upsets ends as they lose to the Red Wings. Wendel Clark starts to have some injury problems, but we're sure they're nothing to worry about. Harold Ballard is alive.

How bad was it? 60/100. Wendel's back will be OK after the off-season, right?


1988-89

The good: Olczyk scores 90 points, showing nice chemistry with Leeman. Daniel Marois scores 31 goals as a 20-year-old rookie. The Leafs rob the Flyers blind, trading semi-decent goalie Ken Wregget for two first round draft picks. They also make the Courtnall-for-Kordic deal. Guess which one of those trades Leaf fans have to hear about constantly for the next two decades?

The bad: Wendel only plays 15 games. Brophy is fired mid-season and replaced by the corpse of George Armstrong. The team misses the playoffs. They have three first-round picks and the best they can do is Rob Pearson. Harold Ballard is alive.

How bad was it? 80/100. Thank god for the Blue Jays.


1989-90

The good: The Leafs are actually good! Well, not quite, but they're .500 for the first time in the decade. Leeman scores 51 goals, Damphousse has 94 points, the team scores 337 goals and is fun to watch. And best of all, Harold Ballard dies!

The bad: Borje Salming plays an embarrassing final season with the Red Wings this year. Why would a long-time Leaf ever wants to go somewhere else for one crappy year? Must be a Swedish thing. Meanwhile, the Leafs lose in five to the Blues thanks largely to the infamous Sergio Momesso OT goal against Allan Bester. And they trade their first rounder in the 1991 draft for Tom Kurvers, but that's no big deal because the team is good now so it won't be a high pick.

How bad was it? 30/100. In hindsight it was still pretty bad, but this season was a lot of fun.


1990-91

The good: Remember all that good stuff from 1989-90? Yeah, never mind. Here are the highlights on this season: Peter Ing stops Wayne Gretzky on a penalty shot. That's it.

The bad: Despite hopes that they can build on the previous year, the team starts off 1-9-1. Leeman gets hurt, Olczyk is traded (for Dave Ellett), and Damphousse is the only player on the entire team to crack 40 points. The team prominently features guys like Lucien DeBlois and Dave Hannan. That Kurvers draft pick turns into Scott Niedermayer, who will return to haunt the Leafs in the 2001 playoffs when he vicously headbutts Tie Domi's elbow.

How bad was it? 90/100. It was bad enough that the team was brutal, but it made fans feel like suckers for ever believing things could actually be different.

1991-92

This guy may be OK.

The good: With the Ballard estate finally out of the picture forever, the Leafs begin to rebuild. They hire a young go-getter from Calgary named Cliff Fletcher to be their GM. He pulls the trigger on a blockbuster deal with the Oilers that lands them Grant Fuhr, Glenn Anderson, and actual credibility. That turns out to just be the warmup, as Fletcher pulls off The Greatest Trade of All-Time a few months later, landing Doug Gilmour and other useful players from the Flames for Gary Leeman and the spare change in his sofa.

The bad: Oh right, the actual games. The Leafs aren't good, finish in last place in the Norris and miss the playoffs.

How bad was it? 50/100. They weren't a good team... Yet.

Coming up: The Fletcher era and beyond.